Baby Beck @ 12+3 weeks

Waiving at Mommy

Baby Beck at 10 weeks

Everytime I get to see the baby it reminds me how blessed I am and that all the sickness and suffering I have gone through up to this point has been worth it!

I continue to have my PICC line in that is giving me fluids and nausea medicine. I will post a picture of the PICC line for those who have never seen one. Hopefully it will only have to be in 2-3 more weeks. I am still have good and bad days when it comes to eating and drinking, but definetly an improvement from before. I lost a couple more pounds making the grand total 15 pounds lost. I can' tell where the weight came from because I don't notice any difference. I am sure when I start eating normally again it will find it's way back to me :)

Sweet Baby

Heart beat of 120

Measuring 6wks 2days

Bumpy Start

I just got home from spending a week in the hospital. It all started with right sided abdominal pain that got worse as the days past. I was sure it was an ectopic pregnancy, but was thrilled to find out it was just a huge cyst that was twisting and causing all the pain.

I was admitted to the hospital for pain management and draining of the cyst. Normally they would just do a laparoscopy and fix the problem, but because I was newly pregnant they said it was too risky. Instead they stick a needle in your abdomen all the way to your ovary and aspirate the fluid out. It was INCREDIBLY painful. I yelled, cried, and had to be held down. Unfortunately the first time wasn't enough to make it go down so they had to do it again :( The second time they got a lot of fluid out and the rest is draining into my abdomen and will eventually be reabsorbed.

The only good thing that came from this was that they found a gestation sac and yolk sac in my uterus. I will go in on Wednesday and hopefully see a heartbeat. I just hope this was the only big hurdle I will have to face this pregnancy

Awwwww, how wonderful it is to see this word blown up :) I can't wait until I have a nice ultrasound picture to post!

I had my first beta today at 14dpo and it was 103 with a progesterone of 45. I have a repeat beta on Wednesday and I will have my first u/s July 1st or 2nd. Still sick, but at least I know my little ones are growing

BFP!!!!!!!!!!

Finally after 2 yrs TTC since my miscarriage(3yrs in total) I saw those 2 pink lines and the heavenly word "pregnant" when I POAS. Last Tuesday I had been really sick! Nausea, vomiting, heartburn, and occasionally diarrhea. I ended up in the hospital needing hydration and thought it was the stomach flu or food poisoning. Well this nausea and occasionally vomiting has continued everyday since.

I decided to POAS 9 dpo just after my trigger shot had disappeared. When I casually went to throw the test in the garbage I saw a hint of a second line. I was pretty sure it was a BFP, but I wanted a darker test to be absolutely sure. The next morning I was granted my wish and the lines were darker :) Unfortunately my DH is working out of state and I had to tell him the news over the phone. He kept giggling and it was like I could "hear" his smile through the phone.

I am nervous and crazy excited at the same time. On one hand I "feel" like everything is going to be just fine and that this will finally give us our baby(ies). On the other hand I have miscarried before and can't help but be apprehensive. I pray that God is finally blessing us with our miracle.

I will have my betas on Monday and Wednesday. As long as things go well I will have my first u/s the beginning of July :)

PLEASE let this work......... PLEASE!

Nursing

Come walk in our shoes for a 12-hour shift. Come see the joy, the tragedy, the comedy, the 100 ways we are pulled and pushed, then rate my "pleasant greeting", "answers call light in timely fashion", "states name of patient."Use the bathroom now, because you might not get the chance again until your shift ends. Wear comfortable shoes. Don't worry if they're clean. They'll end up with blood and vomit on them. We are the patient's advocate, the doctors' eyes and ears, and everyone's scapegoat. We can page your doctor but we can't make that doctor magically appear. We check your stitches, wipe your blood, drain your pus and empty your bedpan. Nursing is a tough job, but we're tougher. We've been yelled at by administrators, supervisors and doctors. We've been kicked, slapped, punched, spat on, and sexually harassed by patients in various states of delirium, mental illness, arrogance, and intoxication. We've even had chairs and food trays thrown at us. We work mandatory overtime, weekends and holidays. We eat Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners with coworkers. We deal with families who ignore visiting hours, bring food to patients on restricted diets, and insist on staying the night even though it's not a private room. We deal with the Florida son who orders us around to show a parent whom he's neglected for years, that he cares. We help deliver your children into this world safely. We cannot be at your side every waking minute. We have 10 other patients. We cannot answer 5 call lights at once. We can't stop doing CPR on a patient because you ran out of tissues. We are not maids, beauticians, or cocktail waitresses. We are professionals with college degrees. We hate that we can't spend more bedside time with you. Swearing at us will not make us move faster. Taking better care of your health would help. Quit smoking. Lose weight. Start exercising. Stop drinking. How do we survive? We ignore the nasty comments, the demanding relatives, the crazy staffing grids. We count to 10 before speaking. We pray every morning for strength and wisdom, patience and empathy. We drive home tired and frustrated, telling ourselves over and over , "I'm not the nurse I want to be, but I'm the best nurse the hospital staffing allows me to be." We fall asleep praying for the ones who won't survive the night. There is no finish line, ever. Nursing is demanding, fulfilling, and we can't imagine doing anything else. Nothing beats washing blood and glass off a car crash survivor , stabilizing a broken neck, saving a diabetic's leg, keeping a cancer patient in remission. The day we send a patient home we relish the unbelievable resilience of the human body and spirit. We did not become nurses for the hours, the salary, or the glamour of it all. We became nurses to make a difference. We don't ask for much. One sincere "Thank You" makes it all worth it.