Something in the Water

As most of us go through our IF journey we will see many of our close friends and family conceive without effort and go on to have healthy, happy families. This becomes a difficult time for any of us. I myself am an OB nurse and work with pregnant, laboring, and postpartum women everyday. To make it more interesting I work at a high risk county hospital.

I see women having their 13th baby, doing drugs, not giving a shit, and then there are the rest of us that would die just to have one baby. Don't get me wrong, I see plenty of nice women just building their families that deserve to be parents too, it's just in the last few weeks I have seen multiple moms come in on cocaine and putting yet another child into foster care. I love my job, I wouldn't be able to deal with some of this stuff if I didn't, it's just some times it makes me so mad!

Onto another topic. My co-workers are popping up pregnant left and right. Everywhere I look I see growing bellies. Everyone keeps telling me "it's in the water" "just drink the water". I am highly doubtful that I will conceive just from drinking from their same water source. The last time I checked the grand total had reached 14 before 4 of them delivered. Recently 2 more co-workers have been added to the list. In the last 2 weeks we had 2 sets of twins and 2 singletons born! I am very happy for all my co-workers who are starting or adding on to their families, it just gets a lot harder when everyone around you is having great luck conceiving when your not. I do have a few fellow co-workers who are in the same boat as I am. One has already had a failed IVF cycle and is trying to figure out what her next step is. Another has just start metformin and clomid. I know I am not the only one struggling, but sometimes it is hard for me to be happy for all these people when I am so down about my own situation

Again moving on to another subject. In my previous post I had talked about my little sister becoming pregnant and how I was so upset, but still happy for her. She started spotting a few days ago and I told her to be seen in the clinic. On Monday she went in for and U/S and was supposed to be 7+4wks. The doctor told her she was 5+2 with a small SCH (subchorionic hemorrhage) The doc said he was "cautiously optimistic". The only problem with this is that she got a + HPT on Dec 19th and if she is only 5+2 then she would have been 2+9 when she got the +HPT. I am worried that the baby stopped growing. She is supposed to go in for a repeat U/S next Friday to see if they can see a heartbeat. I do not want her to miscarry and go through what I went through. Please pray that everything is o.k.

One last topic before I end this post. I have had AF now for 15 days!!!!!! Heavy bleeding with large clots for 15 days!!!! I have no clue what is going on. It is normal for me to have long cycles or patches of spotting, but no 15 days of consistent heavy bleeding. I am going to call my OB on Monday to make an appointment. I am just fed up with my reproductive organs!!!

This to shall pass..............